Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
