I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
