that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
