So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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