I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
