I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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