my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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