I'm jealous of your bromance
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
