is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
