You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I won the penis lottery.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
