If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
