I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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