3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
