somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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