oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
4 words: hood of his car
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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