He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
