PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
