Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
