Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
