NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
