im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
