this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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