I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
