did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
