he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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