Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
