Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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