I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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