Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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