Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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