it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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