Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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