Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
