i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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