i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
