Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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