Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so that wasnt chicken after all
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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