fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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