I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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