i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
