I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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