The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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