that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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