We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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