I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
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i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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