i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
