No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize