I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
