Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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