with your own penis?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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