Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
