sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
