Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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