drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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