we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
