Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Randomize
