thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
