so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
