It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
