he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
