Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
