what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
