its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
