Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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