i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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