tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize