I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
