He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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