i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
