he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
