I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
