I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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