lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize