You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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