she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
