A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
